
Axilea M. Uzumcuoglu is a true
citizen of the world. Open-minded, open-hearted.
Born in Istanbul, Turkey, she was raised in a family where respect for
different cultures and beliefs was an essential part of her upbringing.
She lived in Naples (Italy) as a child because of her father’s job
which also meant she was raised in an International environment.
She later spent one year in Milan (Italy) as a student and has been
living in Brussels (Belgium) for (too) many years. She believes she
will never get used to its gray sky and people.
In love with the much more colorful Mediterranean, she would love to
spend the rest of her life there. She loves the culture, the food, the
warmth of the sea and the lively hospitality of the people among
countless other aspects.
After graduating from the European School, she obtained:
M.A. in translation (I.S.T.I., Brussels),
M.A. in French literature and screenwriting (ULB, University of
Brussels), M.A. in literary translation.
She worked as a teacher, as a writer for documentary films, a
critic for children’s books and a translator.
She also went to drama school and acted in several plays.
Her hobbies include:
Singing classes (jazz)
Archery
Tai chi chuan
Reading…
She has a wonderful daughter whose name is AlizÈe, a warm
Southern wind in her life.
She is in love with words and concerned about the future of humanity.
She always aims at using words that feel true to her heart and mind
(she believes there should be no difference between the two) and is
deeply upset by words that are used to manipulate.
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AXILEA
EQUATIONS FOR A FALLING BODY
- a few seconds of freedom -
I fall,
from the ornamental top of a highrise building,
thirty-seven stories, yet I'm still flying,
quickly approaching my terminal velocity.
I let go,
dramatically ignoring air resistance
and even giving up all resistance,
I just open my mouth to take it all in.
I leave behind,
the hand that broke a bone in this body,
the tears that accompanied years of loss
and a ticket for a plane I never took.
I threw it all,
the delusive letter my father wrote to me,
the fake ring a dishonest lover gave to me,
even, the lies of a shameless husband.
Yes, one by one,
I dropped them all,
I happily stripped off, heavy layers
of make-believe that I, alone, could carry.
The burdens that
all too naturally,
stick to the skin of a woman,
I gave away to gravity.
Which one am I, the hammer or the feather?
To me the expectations of the world below don't matter.
Much better,
3:04am, 560 Madison Avenue (at 56th street),
arms open wide to the nothingness,
emptied of my earthly worries,
for eleven seconds, I fly.
CREMAINS AND IMAGES - Another life... –
They placed her ghastly body
on such a safe, modern device.
Motorized trolley,
computerized heat;
a furnace to transform her
- forever -
freezing my heart.
Only fragments
came out of the retort
to be pulverized,
become soft and acceptable
pasty-pale-powder.
Could I ever believe
that her perfumed earthly body
was now in a clean, labeled box?
A collection of cremains
is not all that remains,
not a handful of dust.
So she came back to me
from the door left ajar,
in a dream full of open windows
she stepped into my life.
It wasn't really her,
yet she was more herself
than she'd ever been:
her stronger,
smiling-shining side.
She did not travel
from the world of the dead,
but through the glorious gate
of images created
when she was still alive.
She came into my private space
- a precious, vivid picture -
to simply stay with me
and begin a new life.
Images of beauty live
relieved of the mortal shell
as a gift from our ancestors,
as a part of ourselves.
BITS AND PIECES - nothing intact -
Seconds before the end,
like just before an earthquake,
a dog howled and a flock of seagulls
flew from above the roof.
I felt it too, all over my skin
and also deep within,
digging, as fast as I could,
to hide the treasured seeds,
that would allow me to rise
and grow from my shattered self,
one day.
Then, the whole world exploded
and I watched it all happen,
witnessing my own end.
In slow motion,
the books, once on the shelves,
opened their wings and flew.
Pens and pencils,
pins and paper clips,
erasers, old coins
and a plastic toy camel
crowded the air above my head.
A bottle of red ink broke,
staining the wallpaper.
I quickly interpreted the shape
as an atomic mushroom.
A plane crash on the ceiling
killed an imaginary pilot,
the universe was blowing up
and so did my whole room.
In the middle of the maelstrˆm
I recognized drifting pieces
of my splintered self.
Scatterings of questions left unanswered,
whirled together, with the tiny fragments
of a restless mind, that couldn't stand
answers left unquestioned.
I watched flowers turn
into thousands of butterfly-petals
flying around, slowly falling onto the ground.
There, at my feet, I discovered
on a thousand pieces of a broken mirror,
the puzzle of my innermost secrets.
A helpless child in a damaged place,
I found shelter under an old table.
Holding tight all that was left of me,
although it cut like broken glass.
I wept silently and I bled,
sitting still,
waiting for the storm to end.
YOU CAN KEEP YOUR GARDEN
- Sexclusion or a metaphor
re-interpreted -
A statue guards the gate
of the beguiling garden
with its fascinating plants,
heavy trunks,
leaves that seek
for the light
(of knowledge?)
and flavorsome fruits,
forbidden food
(for thought?).
Here I am,
not made of clay
or some man's rib
- there must be a mistake:
my integrity was lost
in translation -.
So I became a character
in an old fable,
feeble, of course,
temptation-prone,
unfit for the throne,
dirty from birth.
I am the dangerous belly-dancer.
Funny how, from a rib,
I became a mistress
that sensuously moves her hips
- divine desire.
An outcast
- frowned upon
by a huge man in the clouds -
bound to look for a cave or a castle
and become somebody's maid or princess.
Hey, I am not the only one.
I met Lilith
in the marsh,
deep wrinkles on her cheeks,
her voice,
an ax on a piece of wood,
(s)exiled, broken,
giving birth to monsters
for being a woman on top.
Heathen,
I left the garden of Eden
and now keep the knowledge
right where it belongs:
deep-rooted in my brain,
steady, ready
for a fight that lasts
and a road
so lonely, it terrifies me.
But I am a woman
and won't let others define
what is feminine.
I am velvet and stone,
so many times re-born
just to become myself,
more and more so.
I left that garden
as a refuge
for the weak at heart.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT WORDS
- What is language - art -
understanding? -
Color is not a word she knows
and you might as well learn
that those who tried to teach her
were only doing so for their own sakes.
When the knife she was holding
cut the peach in two,
she expected to see blood.
Disappointed or just confused,
she thought of the belly of her teacher
as yet another fruit.
Red is not a word she knows.
c. All poems by Axilea M.
Uzumcuoglu, 2007.
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